I always seem to make these bold declarations at the end of the year that in the new year I will blog/vlog/post/share so much more than I did the year before and then I promptly drop off the face of the internet for months at a time. I’ll map out a content calendar, start drafting posts, and just stop for really no good reason. I simply cannot uphold expectations that I set for myself, which is disappointing but all too familiar. I do this over and over and over again.
I wish I had some kind of fanciful story to serve as an explanation for not posting but I don’t. Life gets busy and I ignore the things that I enjoy to veg out on Guy’s Grocery Games instead. I give into the “I’m too tired and need a break” mentality all the time. It’s why I stop posting, stop working out, stop reading, stop meditating, etc. I don’t want to get down on myself about it because shit happens and I could be doing way worse in life. At the same time, its hard to not get frustrated by watching myself fall into the same patterns and not knowing how to stop myself.
When I’m fully engaged in all the activities I enjoy, I find this sense of guilt creep over me for not spending my time in other ways. In my mind I question if I should be spending more time with Austin, or cleaning the house, or making plans with friends. Isn’t it strange that when we venture out of our comforts zones we question if we are now neglecting our comfort zone activities. Our minds really do thrive on routine, which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing. Being conscious to utilize routine in a way that makes us more productive is key. Unfortunately, being in the routine of sitting on the couch at 6:30PM and not moving until 10PM is quite the opposite of productive.
Sitting here typing up this post I’ve had the epiphany that I tend to get back into posting online when something happens in my life to disrupt my routine. My daily routine has changed dramatically since we adopted Fran and here I am writing yet another post about being back. Perhaps a bit more disruption to my status quo is exactly what I need to keep me focused as backwards as that sounds.
Well, whatever the reason for my inconsistency, I’m here now and I’m excited. My Christmas tree is up, I’m watching RHOC, and playing with my Frannie. Life right now is pretty nice and I’m excited to share my thoughts with yall.