When I thought about what I wanted to get out of 2019 I really connected with the idea of getting back to the activities I loved having in my routine, but I also wanted to use the year to rid my life of both physical clutter and toxic energy. Since I needed a word that could serve my dual purposes for the year I decided to go with two words – sort of. My word of the year for 2019 is ENGAGE, both re- and dis-.
2018 was stressful and very overwhelming for me. In fact, I spent most of the year in some various level of being overwhelmed by planning the wedding, attempting to sell the house, and family drama which I ended up coping with by laying on the couch, a lot. Blogging, filming, meditation, yoga, experimenting in the kitchen – anything I would normally do for enjoyment was completely pushed aside and ignored. Reengaging in what makes me feel like me is a incredibly important to me. 2019 will be the last year I’m in my 20’s and I want to start my 30’s happy with the life I’m living instead of paralyzed on the couch watching reruns of Beat Bobby Flay (which no one ever does and that’s very annoying). I want to be what I believe to be the best version of myself so I need to actually be doing things I want, “I want” being the key words in that sentence.
And that was actually a great transition into talking about the second iteration of my word of the year: disengage. I’m done doing things I don’t want or being around people that are compromising to my comfort/mental stability.
“it’s just a few minutes”
“just be nice”
“it will look bad if you don’t”
“don’t be stubborn”
“you’re being a little harsh”
“when are you going to move on”
“you’re making people feel like they have to choose sides”
“you’re upsetting XYZ person”
“people think you’re being ridiculous”
“XYZ person will be sad if you don’t come”
“they didn’t mean to”
“they are trying to be better”
“but that’s your relative”
Any and every bullshit line like the ones above can kick rocks in 2019. I’ll also not be blindly supporting anyone in their bad decisions because they are a friend/family member/person of authority. I’ve never been one to do that, but after some shit from 2018 I feel like I needed to spell that one out. I’m done fighting with people that can’t see wrong from right. I won’t be giving advice or insight to anyone whose sought and ignored it in the past. And I’m done placing in trust in those who’ve proven they aren’t responsible enough for the burden.
On a lighter note some other things I’ll be disengaging this year are:
- Tampons – There is just no excuse not to. The diva cup is so easy to use and much more eco-friendly. I have a few left and I think I’m going to take those to work for emergency situations.
- Naked nails – I. Have. So. Much. Nail. Polish. My nails could be painted for the next 50 years with this ridiculous stash of polishes so if you see me with naked nails slap me.
- Debt – This is the year I pay all that shit off! I have one credit card and my student loan to pay off and I 100% can do this.
- Liquor – I honestly can’t remember if I even had any liquor in 2018 but I’ve decided to declare liquor dead to me in 2019. I don’t do shots and liquor usually comes hand in hand with super sugary juices so I’m just going to pass on it. If there’s some sort of tour or cultural experience tied to the consumption of it, I’m fine with that but for going out I think beer and wine will suffice. I like beer and particularly wine much more anyway.
- Sick days – This is more so wishful thinking. Prevention is key!
- Clutter – I hate clutter, but honestly the more I get rid of the more I find to get rid of. It never ends. I’m far from a minimalist but I know there’s still plenty of stuff in this house we don’t need. Decluttering is never ending.
It felt really good writing all of this out. That’s how I know dis/reengage is the best word for my 2019. I would love to know what you are focusing your energy on this year. If you have a word of the year leave it in the comments below.