The Magic of Not Wearing Makeup

Got Almond Milk Selfie

You can find this freakin’sweet shirt HERE.

Hey yall hey! Long time no talk. I have another post planned to talk about where I’ve been and why I’m back in the game now but today I wanted to talk about the restorative power of not wearing makeup. I know we are in the midst of a makeup empowerment movement, if it can be called that. And I am all for people doing what they damn well please with their face and body. Cake it on baby! But for me, I needed a break.

I love makeup. Yall know I love makeup. But a few weeks ago it all became too much. I was dealth a punch to the face from my allergies. It’s not the cutest thing but for full disclosure I must tell yall that when I get sick I turn into a complete booger monster. Some people cough, some people get congested, I turn into a non-stop leaky faucet of snotty nastiness. Thus began my break from makeup. There was simply nothing I could do to hide my poor little red nose so why bother. I felt like I’d be wasting makeup if it all wiped off onto a boogie tissue in an hours time, so I went makeup free for the week. I will note though that I kept the Paula’s Choice Skin Recovery Hydrating Treatment Mask with me the entire time I was sick to keep my nose moisturized since I was putting it through so much abuse. My nose didn’t peel or get patchy at all, which is a small miracle considering I was blowing it like every 5 minutes. That shits gold.

There’s no doubt that getting through my morning routine more quickly and out the door faster was an amazing feeling. Getting down to a one step face washing process at night was awesome too.

After a week of naked face, I was ready to get back into my routine but started off slow. Just concealer and mascara for my first day back at it. The next day Austin and I received pretty terrible news about one of our friends being injured really badly in an accident. I was still a bit sick which I was oddly happy about now. News of our friend along with news a family member would be passing soon after a long battle with cancer really had me on the edge, just waiting for a breeze to push me over. Hiding behind “being sick”, I went another week makeup free, knowing I was going to crack at some point. And I did. Thursday, I felt all of these horrible realities hit me at once and I just burst into tears. I sat in my bosses office (he was out at a meeting), in the dark and quietly cried for 10 minutes or so.

It’s now just over two weeks later and I’m still not back to wearing makeup. Everything is still pretty fresh. Our friend is doing a bit better now, our family member has passed away, and if the bad news could take a break for a while that would be fabulous.

I was looking in the mirror earlier this evening and was struck with how much I looked and felt like myself. It’s only human to pick apart all of our flaws and magnify our own imperfections, but this time I just noticed me. Smooth skin but a bit of redness. Blackhead covered nose. Blue eyes tucked behind thick rimmed glasse. Only slightly chapped lips

Makeup is fun and can perk up our confidence but its also important to value the face under all the product. There’s a person under there. What’s magic about going makeup free is that you remember the makeup isn’t what’s beautiful at all. The person underneath all the makeup is the keeper of the beauty.

Your skin in beautiful. Your eyes are beautiful. Your lips are beautiful. Your humanity is beautiful. Your fragility is beautiful. You’re simple beautiful.

I’ll get back to wearing makeup again I’m sure, but for now I’m enjoying the freedom from a self imposed stressor. Life’s too short to check under my eyes for caked up concealer or to make sure my lipstick isn’t bleeding. I give so much power to these things that don’t matter in day to day life that when tragedity strikes I feel silly for even caring at all. I’m not here to appease others aestetically. I’m just here to experience and that’s pretty magic.

Walking Away

Closing Was Pushed Back Again

When I first started drafting this post the closing date was going to be pushed back a month for repairs to the septic system. After the home owner saw the cost involved with the repairs he backed out. I’ll explain in more detail below, but at this point we have walk away from the house.

Upon entering into a contract on the house we set up our general inspection, which only turned up small issue – super quick and easy for the home owner to fix. The home inspector we hired, who was great, recommended we have a termite inspection as well as a well and septic inspection. No termites, the well was in good shape, but the septic seemed to have a few worrisome things going on with it. The septic system was not permitted by the state, the drainage field was too close to the well, and the drainage field was too small. So basically the only thing not in need of repair was the septic tank. If you aren’t following me right now, I completely understand because I knew nothing about septic systems before this whole ordeal arose.

Once we got these results in from the septic inspector the home owner felt the need to bring in his own inspector (a friend of his) who said the septic system was perfectly fine and in good working order. In order for the septic to be get a grandfathered in permit from the county a septic inspector would need to sign off that the septic was in good shape. The home owner’s friend refused to sign off, probably because he knew that was a complete lie and he didn’t want to lose his license.

So that was incredibly sketchy behavior, but we really wanted this house so after the homeowner finally conceding that there was an issue, we moved on to the next step in the process – a perk test. This is basically where the soil is tested to see how fast a specific amount of water can drain and dissipate. The water needs to drain from the soil where the drainage field would be placed within a half hour or it is not the proper composition for the style of drainage field currently at the home. So of course the soil did not perk. Apparently, the soil in the back yard is pretty much all clay once you get under the top layer. Who knew this was even an issue? I certainly didn’t, but I guess this was a good learning experience.

This is pretty much the moment everything went down hill. Because of the soil composition we would need to have mound drainage system installed. This system would need to be designed by an engineer before installation and bringing the health department in for approval. At this point in the process we were under the impression that the work would be done and closing would just be pushed back another month. Estimates from a few different companies put the cost for the work somewhere between $10k and $40k depending on results from additional soil tests.

The homeowner basically said he would put $4k towards the work pre-closing or give us a $10k check at closing. He would not pay to have this work complete. The home was priced about $1000 below what it was apprised at so for us to pay full price for a home that needed $30k of work would make no sense. He wouldn’t budge on the price and he wouldn’t do the work – the man is delusional if he thinks someone is going to buy this home listed at appraisal price that needs an additional $30k in work just to be livable.

This house was a flip. It was his first flip that he decided to do on a whim and he messed up. And because this man didn’t choose to have a well and septic test when he first purchases this house as is, we are now out of a house. I really, really loved that house. That said I’m not a fool and I’m not going to be screwed into financial ruin. It makes no sense.

Unfortunately, the market here in the Baltimore area is now in a lull. My mom works with a lot of companies for advertisement work and she said the realtor ads pick up again in the Fall. I’m hopeful that if we can’t find something from the slim pickings left out there this Summer, maybe we will find something come Fall. I’m not so upset about having a few more months to save and pay down other debts, but I’m by no means excited to continue living with my parents. It’s our best option right now so I’m just going to have to suck it up.

As for my YouTube channels and the blog there will be a few adjustments to plans I had. I will continue to post my weekly Plan With Me videos. I will post Happy Mail videos whenever I have enough to share and if I make any interesting changes involving planning I will share that too. I was going to wait to film my Empties video until a day or two before moving but I think I am just going to film it this weekend as my bin is overflowing at this point. I’m sure I’ll amass more to share before moving whenever we find another house. I am going to try to film more Weekend Vlogs for my vlog channel. I’m horrible at remembering to film vlogs but I’m trying to get better. I also have a long list of blog posts I want to write so keep an eye out for more written content in the upcoming months as well.

Before I end this blog post I wanted to say thank you to everyone who support me, my channels, the blog, and any of my social media platforms. Many of you have become friends and acquaintances. I so appreciate everyone sticking around even though I cannot put out the volume of content I used to be able to. I have so many ideas I want to share with you all and I know I will get there in time. It’s just really upsetting to be held back by my environment. Over the past few days I’ve felt a range of emotions – sad, hurt, angry, vengeful, disappointment, loss – and it will take me a little bit of time to not feel so upset about it. I just wanted to be honest about it. I wasn’t expecting things to transpire as they did, but I’m not going to let that hold me back from putting out as much content as I can. I realize this may seem a bit overboard for just loosing a house but when you begin to picture a future with something the loss stings a bit more.

We are looking at 5 house tonight. I know I’m going to be comparing every house to the one we are walking away from. Everyone keeps telling me it was a sign, it’s for the best, we are going to find a better house. My fear is nothing will compare and finding another home will take forever. I’ll definitely keep everyone updated on the progress.

Happy Mother’s Day

Good evening lovely internet. It’s been so long since I actually wrote a blog post I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore!

I just wanted to stop in to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, guardians, mother-like-figures, pet moms, and plant moms out there. Hopefully that covers everyone. I hope everyone had a pleasant day.

Here in Baltimore it was a tad windy but the weather was lovely aside from that. We had a cook out at my brother’s house with several people from our family and Austin’s as well. I love that we can use these “Hallmark holidays” to bring the family together. I especially love when I get to see my baby cousins. Those girls are hilarious and I can’t wait until they are angsty teens. Oh what fun!

The picture above is me and my mom, taken last fall in an apple orchard. My mom is so spunky and wonderful. She’ll drop everything to help you but beat your ass if you start acting a fool. She’s the mom that became the “adoptive” mom of nearly all of mine and my brother’s friends at some point. Alway there to listen and give honest advise. She never judged the gritty details or sugar-coated her thoughts. She’s what I like to call a “truther.” She’s probably the coolest mom out there and I just wanted to tell you all a little about her. Maybe she will be in a video one day!

I hope you all ease comfortably into your week and are enjoying Spring. Talk to you all again soon!

♥ Amanda